It Touched My Heart

A very touching letter to share from old age. It happened between 1980-1982.

Dear Genemdions,

I deeply missed you. I have so much regret that we've came this far with such enormous misunderstandings.

We had fishing together when we were little, playing rubber bands, eating with half fish since that's what we all had, going school together in miles away walking because we can't ride a bus - we don't have money for fare. During my junior high you were always there to reprimand me everytime I went for a night life, you scared my suitors, you were so overprotective back then.You always taught me to love our family. I understand all of those. I love you so much Noy.

I called you with so many names, I love to made up names to tease you. You just laughed at me. You were one of the reasons why I grew up like this. My childhood nor whole life rather is full of happiness, pain and suffering and honestly you're one of those who made me in pain. I always remember how we were so close back in my junior high life. You always taught me how to be vigilant always that made me insensitive to others sometimes. You always taught me to stand on my own, which made me feel not to trust to anybody and I struggle so much to overcome this situation.

I want you to know that I think the way you taught me was never been good to me but I never ever blamed you for those. I am so thankful for some reasons that I can't be easily tricked with others but it went so far.

I am now feeling so alone. I don't know how to trust people. My co-workers, friends, and people close to me never got my trust to them, though I didn't make them feel that way but deep in my heart, I struggle to fight for this. I am telling myself to trust people at least those who are close to me.

We had our last misunderstanding that prolong this far when we traveled back then, until we both got married which made us even distant to each other.

Until the time and our journey separated us. I cried in pain with regret because I need to tell you I love you noy. I was with you in your very last breath but I cannot even stand beside you because I'm shaking and I don't know what to do. I am feeling helpless.

Noy, God is with you now. I love you so much noy and forever I will miss you.

Love Sister, Ramie

(1st yr. death anniversary letter)